Friday, February 11, 2011

"How Angelina of You"


I mentioned in the previous post that I'm entering a very busy period.  It's busy in ways good, bad, and ambiguous.  In the obviously-bad department, among other things, my mother is dying by inches.  In the ambiguous (and exhausting and frustrating, but also hopeful) department, my son has finally, after almost a year of evaluations by different school, medical, and psychological entities, gotten an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, which is opening up a whole new world for all of us, about which I'll write more later (the frustrating aspect being that lately I've had to spend most of my free time on the phone, a hated instrument for me, trying to advocate for and coordinate his services; the exhausting aspect being that it's, well, exhausting to parent a small child on the spectrum).

In the good-but-still-ambiguous department -- ambiguous because it's overwhelming, even maddening -- is the adoption process for Baby Jude.  I'm up to my neck in paperwork, and what arcane paperwork it is.  I'm still trying to get vital records from the great city of New York; my husband, it turns out, will have to be background-checked in Ireland as well as the United States; we have to have our home study entirely rewritten to reflect how we will become a multi-cultural family (which, in some ways, we already are); and we have to spend hours online being trained for compliance with Hague adoption standards. 

This video, however, is a bright spot in my week (sorry, I couldn't embed it; you'll need to click the link to watch).  My understanding is that it provides a frighteningly, if hilariously, accurate depiction of one standard adoption conversation.  (It's never too soon to be prepared.)

17 comments:

lissla lissar said...

Praying for all of you.

Congratulations on getting the diagnosis.

That's one of my favourite Sandra Boynton songs. We're big fans of hers. I can never watch Laura Linney in anything ever again without hearing, "Oh, please can I keep it? It followed me home"...

Sally Thomas said...

Your adoption process has been one of my standard Mass intentions for ages (and look: I got you paperwork!). I'll remember more consistently all the rest as well.

Pentimento said...

Thank you SO MUCH, Sally and Lissla!

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

That video is hilarious. I think my favourite line is:

The none-of-your-business tribe and she speaks mumble-drool.

Did you raise your eyebrows, Pentimento, when it ended with the promise of organic coffee? =P

I'm so sorry about your mother--but even more sorry (and I hope you don't find this too rotten of me) about the paperwork. She is a few steps closer to Heaven and is surrounded by so much love, while bureaucratic paperwork often seems like one of Old Nick's greatest inventions.

PS--Captcha is "jumberop," which is exactly how I say "jump rope" when I have a cold. =P

Pentimento said...

Well, I might have accepted her offer of surplus breast milk just to try some of her homegrown organic coffee.

lissla lissar said...

Wow.

The venom from other moms, which is disguised as helpful advice, is terrible. It's like being in middle school again, desperately seeking to flatten the competition.

Pentimento said...

The Attachment Parenting-NYC group was sort of like being with a bunch of hippie Tiger Mothers, if you can parse that one.

But I've heard the adoption thing puts it at a whole other level, and that usually people ask you these things IN FRONT OF your kids.

Tertium Quid said...

"Stat crux dum volvitur orbis."

Tertium Quid said...

Prayers for your mother. Kindest thoughts, TQ

Pentimento said...

That's for sure, TQ.

Pentimento said...

Thank you for your prayers, too.

Anne-Marie said...

Oh my. That is a lot to deal with. Adding your mother to your adoption on my intentions list.

On a completely unrelated note, thank you for the clementine cake recipe! My husband and daughter ran a 5k this weekend, and afterwards one of the organizers gave us a couple of gallons of leftover quartered oranges? clementines? Anyway, I cooked them up and now have the makings of six cakes!

Pentimento said...

Thank you SO MUCH, Anne-Marie.

I've made that cake five times in a row now -- wait until you taste it. It will make you cry.

Anne-Marie said...

I've already made it twice before. It has intense flavor, moistness, and richness, without being too sweet. It's my new favorite.

Pentimento said...

Me too. I keep buying clementines so I can chain-bake it.

Peter and Nancy said...

I was laughing so hard at the video that one of my sons came to ask if he could watch it too. In the three years since we became a multicultural family through adoption, I've had this conversation many times (minus the fertility comments and the umm, *kind* offer of breastmilk). The goofiest comment besides "When are you planning to tell her she's adopted?" was "Do you think she'll have an accent when she grows up?" For real.

Praying for you as you fill out all that lovely paperwork!
Nancy

Pentimento said...

I love the accent comment! That one is way out of left field. Thank you for the prayers!