Although the semester is over, I found myself back at the music department today to meet with a student from my writing class over a disputed grade (I gave her a B plus; she asked me to change it to an A minus; I agreed because of her perfect attendance and hard work in the course). The university is in a poor but historical area, and after my meeting I decided to walk to a nearby church and sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament, something I have been wanting to do more of late. When I found the church closed, I nearly cried. I walked along, intending to go to a different subway station than usual, and suddenly I came upon one of the friaries run by the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal (pictured above). I knew it was one of theirs when I saw the collection of beat-up old vans out front covered with pro-life bumper sisters. I know the Friars (commonly called the CFRs) through their connection with the Sisters of Life, their sister community; the Sisters have an apostolate to post-abortive women, and I participated in their retreats a few years ago, becoming very close to some of the nuns, and later sang in benefit concerts for them. I took my courage into my hands and went up and rang the buzzer; I figured I needed prayer, and I had happened upon the right place; in fact, I had been praying for the CFRs themselves just the night before.
A tall, lanky English brother answered the door. I told him who I was, and asked the brothers to pray for me. I told him about my pregnancy, my long-ago abortion, the two pregnancy losses that my former confessor had totted up against it, and my desire for God's mercy. He stood with me in the hot sun and prayed with me right there, but not before saying, quietly and with a firm joy: "God IS mercy."
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PORTIA: The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:
'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When mercy seasons justice....
'Cause if you're talking about mercy, you can't forget Shakespeare.
Amen.
I like the idea of mercy seasoning justics; I think that'a a balance that it's hard for us to understand here on earth. But the CFRs and the Sisters of Life are operating on the instructions that Christ gave to St. Faustina in the 1930s: that His mercy is His greatest attribute, greater even than His justice.
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